The Twilight Zone

Hello. Its been ages. I blame the constant mini-tests, speeches and homework which are the bane of my college life. I curse them all. But for now, I am free from everything. For a brief hour, I am in the Twilight zone. Daylight Savings has just set in today, so we all have to set our clocks back 1 hour. So technically, after I'm done typing my cares and woes here, it'll still be the same time as before I started. Weird shit huh?
Who cares? I get an extra hour today.

Here's whats been happening the past month or so(besides studying senselessly, while the people around me all get drunk)...

I went to a Foo Fighters/Weezer/Kaizer Chief's concert...

Suck it, Masturbating Monkey. Suck it suck it suck it....
Besides some other random Punk boy rock bands that pretend to have family problems and vent their frustrations on stage(Fallout Boy and Dave Matthews Band), guess what else is coming on Nov 6th,

Now if i could only buy tickets in time...

I went to Six Flags amusement park in St Louis...

Its like any other park with lots of fun rides that help people lose their caps, glasses, wallets and any other loose items in their pockets...
And no amusement park is complete with carnival folks who rig their games, making sure you have as much chance of winning a prize as you have of pulling a monkey out of your ass.

This poor chap over here spent $40 worth of "special balls" on this game, before he won some sort of large Care Bear stuffed toy.. Sucker!! (I spent $25 and didn't win that 5-foot tall Scooby-Doo stuffed toy, damn him...)

When poor(litreally) international students want to buy winter clothes, poor international students have to rent a(few) car(s) and drive to the nearest factory outlet mall, which is about 40 miles or so away(not including miles spent travelling in the wrong direction due to "Newbie Navigator in Foreign Country" skills)..


In such far away places, its common to find pre-world-war-2 retro style diners everywhere...

Like pigeons attracted to shiny objects, the pretty chrome exterior attracted us to go inside and introduce them to our moneys. It was not long before we realized that small numbers with "99" at the back of them, like $1.99 + $2.99 + $9.99 + 3.99 add up to US$23.32 with tax. Convert that to SGD and its 40 bucks for a steak, soup, sides and drink from DANNYs... Note to self : Stay the fuck away from shiny objects...


My roommate comes home drunk sometimes(usually when he has a test the next day).
Our ex-wingman Manan "Shit that Wedgie really hurt" Shah tried to take advantage of his handicap by attacking him. As usual, he proved no match for American Muscle(with alcohol).

Pictured here strangling Indian in one hand, talking to girl he likes on phone in another hand.


Its halloween weekend this week, following tradition, I decided to dress up too.
I needed something nice, fluffy and cuddly, so all the girlies would want to hug.

I wonder if a 6 foot chicken was a good idea....
I did get lots of hugs and kisses, but my thick furry carapace took away every last bit of enjoyment.


We played broomball yesterday.
Basically you just walk on the ice arena with normal shoes and whack a ball around with a stick.

Its ice hockey for people who can't skate for nuts.
Besides the cuts and bruises on my knuckles and knees, I really enjoyed eating ice for 2 hours everytime I fell.

Right, my 1 hour Daylight Savings bonus is about to run out. After that, its back to my life of Essays, speeches homework and tests..

If anyone wants anything from America before I come back in December, tell me now, or forever hold your peace.

Sucks

Woah shit... theres no time to do nuts here... so much work/administrative stuff to do... it doesnt help that the bus service is non-existant and its too cold to walk more than 8 blocks... No time to write stuff.. only time to study...

will post lots shit here soon.. but first, its time to do my speech... damn speech com... meanwhile, here's evidence that my roommate gets to go out everyday drinking, while i stay home and do work...


Ok, so i may be holding a handle of happy juice, but my roommate made me hold it... i was actually holding an Accounting book....


Nerd....

For the Motherland

Hello all.



Jason in Russia.
20 - 26 Oct.
Will bring empty 60 litre tatonka bag + wooly coat
Will bring back empty bag full of furry hats, vodka and pictures.

I think we still had a bet , first one to Moscow, Russia wins right ? Looks likes you guys have until thursday to get ahead of me.

Burnt Toast

After 120 hours of constant study at the library (equivalent to 5 days a week for 4 weeks for 6 hours) , I have decided that Goats just arent genetically suitable to be professional optometrists. Not only have I developed goat feed (or whatever goats eat) allergy and am now slightly anorexic (pictures of skinny goat not included in case of goaty japanese pervert sites) but I feel like I have developed caffeine tolerance cause it takes 300% more coffee to get my initial buzz (that is 6 double espressos for you NooBs). I have effectively acidified away all of my intestinal tract and overclocked my precious 5 brain cells till I feel like 2 steps away from a drunken blow out party like the one chicken has or rather is having.
I dont wanna type any more.

Check it out

Hey Masturbating Monkey, check it out..

Apparently if I ship one can of Steven's Super Energy Drink to my dorm, it'll cost
US$38.81 to get it the next day.

I'll bring a few home for you to enjoy...

I will kill you with all my pictures

I just realized... School here is tougher than in Singapore(according to the Exchange students from NUS)... That sucks.. I havnt posted stuff here for a while, cos I had 4 tests in a row last week... Now thats unheard of in an American College...

First I had this stupid Econs test.

I'm taking this year 3 economics class(cos i usually bite off more than i can chew).
My lecturer doesn't refer to the textbook when he teaches. He just mumbles on and on in a monotonous voice, while showing us just how well he can draw circles freehand on the chalk board.

Then there was this Computing test.

Basically it was stuff like "What does HTML stand for?", but I was under-informed and ended up actually studying for it.. That sucked.. But then again, if I ever encounter a 12 foot monster made of marshmellows who would only let me live if I could tell him the difference between RAM and a Hard Disk, I would live to drink another day.

There was also a Geology test.

This was quite hard, cos I had to memorize the different properties of rocks, which would melt in acid rain, which are tough and which I could use as a substitute for Sodium Chloride incase I needed some salt in my soup.

Not forgetting the stupid Accounting test.

Accounting is easy to understand, but the lecturer likes to set hard exams. She likes to think of herself as "The Big Cheese"(because she can do whatever the hell she wants, and also because she's physically bigger than anyone else in the lecture hall)

But there is always a rainbow after every storm. There's a pot at the end of it, but it aint filled with gold. Oh whatever could be in it?(Hint : Refer back to last 4 pictures)

First, I had to clear up the garbage which was accumulating in my trash bin.

My roommate and me have an agreement, whoever cant tolerate the foul smell more, will have to throw the trash away. I lost this time. But with my newly purchased squirt bottle of Febreeze, I'm confident of taking the trophy next time round.

Next, it was off to Walmart to stock up on "Happy Juice".

The healthcare here may be expensive, but thank god some things are still dirt cheap. They probably keep the prices of Alcohol down, as it is as much of an Educational Aid as Books are in any college. My "Wingmen" for Operation - Abstinence were Michael "Malibu" Minnaert and Manan "Absolut" Shah. They kept the car running, while I detoured through the cashier with my 21 Year old ID.

On our way home to stash the "Happy Juice", we had to be careful of people who might want our "Happy Juice", because they were too young to get their own.

You'll never know where they may come from and jump you when you least expect it.

We also had to weed out certain Traitors in our midst.

Our Wingman "Absolut" just didnt want to fork out any lousy moneys for the Team, so we had to dispose of him.


Then, the after-exam parties(well deserved) started...
Not in order of which they occured:

We had a Mid Autum Festival celebration, where we invited random people to a room, fed them Mooncakes, Tea and Tea Eggs, and played games.

Games which involved me having to hang upside down for a minute(sure, bully the poor chinese kid)

We went to an Asian Frat Party.

It kinda blew... Sticking to old chinese businessman traditions, the Chinese dudes that ran the party decided to charge a few bucks per drink, which was silly cos the next door party was giving Happy Juice away free flow.
Note to self : Dont go to Chinese guy parties, else all your moneys will belong to them.

We also had some fun at The Canopy Club.

One of our friends was putting up a kick ass dance(hip hop) that night at the club, so we went to support her. The Clubs and Bars here all close at 2am, because the owners know that all the students have to go home n get some rest, so they'll be ready for church the next day.

It was also someone's birthday sometime, so we went to celebrate it at his house(Its his birthday and he has to cleanup his house after that, hmm...)

House parties are much more fun(and cheaper) than clubbing or Frat parties, because its people you know and the drinks are on the house(birthday boy).

Of course the birthday boy wouldnt mind cleaning up after us and giving us lots of drinks.

All that doesn't matter when his world is spinning around and he has the sudden urge to talk about his inner most deepest feelings to everyone.

After getting really high, we went to Joe's Bar/Pub/Club/Whatever he wants to call it, to make use of all the alcohol in our system.

Because we were kinda tipsy, we managed to blend in with the incoming/outgoing crowd and sneak in for free. Now thats something a Cheapo-Singaporean can be proud of, getting alcohol, clubbing and cake, all without paying a cent.

On my way home that night, I met this weird dude on the street, who claimed he would one day surpass 50 Cent and Dr Dre..

He gave me a live demo of his rapping, it went something like :
Something something I smoke Weed with my dog...
Something something something.. house and a log....
something something Bling Bling...
something something something bitches, hoes and 22" Rims...

Upon hearing his natural talent for making up nursery rhymes that would give a preschooler nightmares for life, I quickly took a picture with him, incase one day he becomes famous.



As for my roommate, he made it back to the dorm in one piece too, but he decided that it was in his best interest, to sit down in the toilet for a while before going to bed.



To Mummy : Dont worry, the studying happened within a 7 day period, whereas the other stuff all occured within a 3 day period, so looking at it statistically, the study-play ratio is quite good. Don't worry ok? I miss you and daddy very much.
Can you send me money?(kidding!)