Boring life

Nothing much has happened the past week or so on my life... Well, theres nothing much to do anyway, in the middle of 2 cornfields(This isnt just an expression, the surrounding areas are really filled with corn).

But for what did happen, here's a pictorial report.

Sometime last weekend,
I went to a Tailgate party.

For those of you who don't know what the hell that is...
It occurs when many people drive their big trucks and SUVs to a random grass patch near a football game. They deploy their Trucks and SUVs(Deploy, as in take out the beer and BBQ) and start drinking n cooking saussages. All this starts at 8am in the morning. So instead of tea, toast and eggs over easy, you get "Beer, Balls and lotsa meat"(which also happens to be the word definition for an "All American Breakfast").


We had a fire alarm go off last week saturday night(4.30am).. Basically everyone who comes back drunk has a 10% chance of pulling a firealarm off just for the heck of it. Since everyone in the block comes home drunk on saturday nights, thats 1000x10% = 10000% chance of getting a fire alarm pulled on a Saturday night.
And like any fire drill, everyone has to gather downstairs while the nice firemen go and turn off the alarm.


Indians keep coming into my room, so me and my roommate had to dispatch them, death by beer-stained beanbag.


Ben N Jerrys is dirt cheap. Which results in us buying truckloads to eat before we sleep... mmm.. Protein...


We went apple plucking few days ago at the nearby Orchard..

The rule is, you can go in and eat whatever apples you can, but u pay for whatever you bring out.



Most apples were green and we couldn't tell which were sweet and which were not, so we just ended up throwing them around.


My inability to eat apples due to my bracers has forced me to retire into the Pumpkin Fields for the rest of the day, while everyone else throws apples around.



To my roommate :
I missed you during the weekend, so i got random people to come and sleep in our room, cos i was lonely. I drank some of your orange juice too.


ok, im tired from studying for my accy test. so i'll go to bed now... ugh...

Huh ?

Huh ?
My 3 months in Sweden can be described as a big hazy memory. Lets try to start from the beginning.

5 June 2005 GMT +1 16:40

After making a landing at Sweden Arlanda Airport, we head off to make some necessary purchases of supplies.



just to show that I'm not just looking to get drunk, we have the wine section at only 12% - 20%, for the pussy drinkers. Swedish people have warehouses of alcohol which they call Systembolaget, which is actually Swahilli for "oh happy days". Don't ask me why Swedish people speak Swahili. Wait, what ?



9 June 2005 GMT +1 11:40
I wake up and discover its the 9th of June and I'm in Finland. Haha, no, I'm just kidding, I'm in Sweden. Wait, huh ? And I have big hangover, so i do what most Swedish people do to get rid of headaches, swim in lakes.



And then here I am again, obviously high. On life that is !



15 June 2005 GMT +1 3:00
I start work and then I have my first tea break at the office. But instead of tea, its beer. And instead of office, its happy land !



1 July 2005 GMT +1 11:40
I realise my furniture is sticky with alcohol so I have to get new easily alcohol resistant crap. For that, there is always Ikea.






Basically the inside of that Ikea is like a department store in Singapore, but instead of department store, its Sentosa. what ?

After helping to drag home that damned ironing board the chinaman HAD to buy, we had dinner. And by dinner, I meant a kilogram of meatballs. fuck the spaghetti.



I also managed to buy a cheap form of transportation around Stockholm.



no, its actually this.



no, I actually meant I travel around in this.




Unknown, Unknown ????
I met some people somewhere to have something to eat, I think. I'm not sure though, although heres a picture to prove it. hmmmm....



Heres a picture of what 2 chinaman would look like in the middle of Stockholm City.

No, that doesn't fit at all. Oh ya, the whole of stockholm has been frozen in time since the rule of Frederick the Drunk IIVVXXII. There are no sky scrapers or whatever, its just those buildings at the back, EVERWHERE. I guess its supposed to be beautiful or something, but huh ? what ?

ok, moving on. I think I have more crap, but I'll update whenever again. But I'll leave you with this picture, which will speak volumes about my next addiction.

Show face

Chicken has successfully carried out a very real hostile takeover of Dafansu.com. In fact, he probably gets so bored with staring at all that corn/spastic chinese student/naked white guys that unless he overblogs, he would be EXTRA SPICY BBQ Corn Chicken (ONLY $9.95, $12 with fries) instead of the more esoteric heavenly drain water chicken.

So I have decided to show face to our foursome (I think Mr Man has died from either drug overdose or choked on a meatball somewhere) and blog at least once a month so they wont assume I choked on a Kangaroo somewhere.

Anyway, nothing much is happening to me. Simply because there isnt much happening period. I am studying, eating, sleeping and the cycle of mind-numbing boredom continues... in a cycle that never ends like in Elton Johns song with that over-sized cat.

Anyway, just to show I am alive, I decided to enclose another photo of me and my flatmate's friends. It was supposed to be a singaporean BBQ thing *but* we went late and the food was on the extreme side of oily (kinda reminds me of changing engine oil). So went hiked on to this restaurant where we had some more decent food which didnt taste of Premium 98 unleaded (ok ok, i know thats petrol, I dont memorize what engine oil i use)

Anyway, here is a pic of me and my newfound friends (all of whom are singaporeans) which might not be very interesting to you readers in singapore but im sure Chicken cant wait to get all the asian faces he can.



I hope everyone is happy, the apartment is taking some time cause I dont have a camera. Will post after mid-sessions!!!

Chicago

Chicago is a beautiful place.. If you ever thought of going on a road trip with one of your friends who is overseas studying in Illinois, Chicago is the place to go...

If you compare the streets of Chicago to the Streets of New York, you would be able to see a remarkable difference in the "walkability"...

The streets are surprisingly clean for a crowded American city.. So much so, that even the hobos actually sat on the floor to beg for moneys(unlike the hobos in NY, who had to stand around instead of sitting, as the floors were uninhabitable even by cockroaches)

Having a squeaky clean city comes at a price. You pay thru your nose when you park your car anywhere near a pretty sidewalk.


But of course, that wouldnt be a problem for some people, cos their cars can't even fit into the carparks.

That and the fact that their cars are worth more than the GPA of some developing countries.

Of course, nothing beats our ride, the Ford E250 Ecoliner.

Older than my pet turtle, these beasts are equiped with all the odor absorbing seat fabrics one could ever need. The smell of alcohol lingered with us throughout the whole trip. It felt as if my roommate was next to me the whole time.

Like any Singaporean who has been eating cheese and burgers for the past few weeks, we headed straight to Chinatown for some good ol fake chinese food made by ABCs.

The chicken may be hard, the mango pudding may be tasteless, but we needed some rice, and Yao Yao Asian Cuisine would suffice.

Of course, I requested that we try some of the alternative foods avalable,

but being a crowd who have never watched "Harold and Kumar" before, they quickly dismissed my suggestions. ..They Only know the Kumar from The Boom Boom Room...

In Chicago, big companies are king... Apparently they earned enough money's by selling cheap products at jacked up prices.. So much so, that they can even build Ferris Wheels to entice little kiddies to come play on it, at the same time, making the little kiddies buy their crap...

Kinda like Michael Jackson and his Neverland Ranch...

Hot sauces are a hit in Chicago... Some resturants have even resorted to stocking their tables with every single hot sauce known to man(to them anyway). Tabasco, green Tabasco, "Extra Strength" Tabasco... They even have funny names like "Ass in tub of water hot sauce", "Buns at the beach sauce" and "Flaming Cheeks GradeA Hot Sauce"...


This is a pic of all the sauce bottles on ONE table.. I kid you not...
As much as I like to choose what colour of Tabasco sauce I'd like on my 1 pound steak, its comforting to know that in Singapore, most resturants manage to combine all these sauces into one potent bottle...



Thus saving us time on deciding what fancy-named sauce should accompany our dead cow tonight.


Few months ago, I remember my uncle(who travels often to the States) and my cousin(who studies in Australia), talk about something thats better than Dunkin' Dounts.. I couldnt remember what it was.. But 4 Dollars and a sore throat later, I finally remembered what it was...



They come in all shapes/sizes/flavours...
Now these are not ordinary doughnuts...



Look closely at the picture...
Notice a thin layer of sugar coating around each doughnut?
Apparently the doughnuts are sugar-treated with a sore-throat-inducing icing formula which brings the calorie count of each doughnut up to a whopping 360 calories per pop...

Every country has its own national treasure...
Singapore has the Ice Kachang
Malaysia has the Ramly Burger
Japan has the Skyline GTR 35(According to Jay Zhou in InitialD - The Movie)
America has Krispy Kremes

DOCTOR'S WARNING : Failure to drink lots of water after consumption of Krispy Kremes will result in Sore Throat and Mild Depression triggered by inability to consume more Krispy Kremes.

Drunk Test - Purt 2

err... pictures.... ... from here..... to there...

Today is Thursday.. The americans call it Thirsty Thursday(go figure)...
Friday and saturday nights arent enough, so they have to add one more night just for the heck of it...

Anyway.. back to the basics... This is my room(Before pimping)...


its boring...clean floor... so much wasted space... But after $80 at Walmart and a trip back to my roommate's home, we managed to pimp up the room quite abit...


Fake Grass carpet to play golf on - $13
"Illinois" Bean Bag - $25
Surround Sound Speakers - $32
Lava Lamp - $10
Posters of Half Naked Girls - $4
Extra TV, HiFi, Microwave, Fridge and 2 more bean bags - Roommate's house

I left my study table empty thou.. thats how i did my accounting homework before thirsty thursday...

This is my closet... I brought my signature "messy style" over friom Singkapore..
Can you spot the hidden Jim Beam?


And of course, my room isnt complete without my Roommate.

He normally just sits down and stones, unless I give him some Alcohol to drink.. Then he wears his cap crooked and makes swishing noises with his mouth..(I'm guessing the noises signify how fast he's going to get piss drunk)


Heres a picture of random ang mohs that smelt the alcohol coming out of our room and came in for some.

From Left to Right...

Michael(My Roommate,wearing his cap crooked), Ross(Katie's Friend), Katie(Ross's Friend), Super Cool Asian Guy(Super Cool Asian Guy), Kelvy(Michael's friend)

Here's a random picture of Walmart.

100 times larger than the biggest Supermarket in Singapore, they sell everything from Bananas to Shotguns... Notice the ceiling? there is no end to it.. Some say, if you continue to walk in a Srtaight line thru Walmart, eventually you will reach back to the same point you started from. There is no Beginning. There is no end. There is only Walmart.

This is the Bus i take to school everyday

It seldom comes on time.. and at certain times of the day, it doesn't come at all.. Stats show, that most traffic accidents in my school area were caused by busses hitting people. They are a force to be reckoned with. They are the law in this town.

We get served buffet breakfast, lunch and dinner every day of the week... non stop... forever and ever and ever....

The Dining hall staff try their best to make the Freshman 15(Freshmen all gain 15 pounds at the start) a reality. As you can see, they are doing a good job... As Singaporeans cannot stay away from buffets..

Drunk test - Part 1

Heres a cool test.. I'm gonna post 3 times today... Once now, when I had two Bacardi, once when I had alot of Bacardis and once when I had too many Bacardis... And we'll see the difference...

Right now..
These are the brands of cars i can name in 1 minute

Ford
Dodge
Mitsubishi
Nissan
Honda
Honda
Chrysler
Proton
Fiat
Honda
Creative
BMW
Mercedes
Volvo
Mini
Fisher Price
Honda


Lets see what happens later...