Tuesday, June 22, 2004

The female mind

Its hard to really figure out what really goes on in da female mind. Its like, they say one thing, but they keep the actual truth from you, expecting you to guess what she means... for example...

Female: Its ok, you can go out with your friends, i understand...

What she actually thinks: He actually choosen his FRIENDS over ME?!? That uncaring bastard. I'm not going to care about him anymore unless he comes and says sorry to me..ooh ooh... and buys me a new pair of heels...ooh, the ones with those little diamond studded toe rings... But nahh, he's as sensitive as the skin below my heels.. I should just give him hell, make him sorry for ever choosing his friends over me... I'll nail a dead chicken to his front door..that'll teach him!!! But wait, why should i spend money on a chicken for that ungrateful fag? I have his ATM PIN number, i'll use his OWN money to buy a dead chicken to nail onto his door.. Better yet, I'll use his money to buy those diamond studded heels myself! who needs him... I have to go complain to my friends about him now...

Why can't women be as straightforward as guys? But then again, attempting to read a woman's mind ia skill.. Sought after by many, mastered by few(unless you're gay)..
Countless men's aids (Mens health, www.askmen.com....etc...) are avalable to the average joe...
To Guys: read em, they actually have some quite useful stuff
To Gals: read em, then you'll know how much effort we guys put in to try to understand you all...

The perfect relationship should be like me and my dog, Bob(identity witheld to protect Eric)... He's so easy to understand... Whatever he's feeling, he speaks it out...

Me: Cmon eric, lets go...

Eric:... ...

Me: Eric, you hungry? Want some leftover nightsnack from last christmas? Cmonnn...

Eric:... ...

Me: You're such a nice doggy...If you didn't secrete so much saliva, i'd hug you

Eric:... ...

(Car approaches)

Eric:... ... Woof Woof!... ...

Me: Easy boy... Easy...

Eric:... ...

Match made in heaven...


I have a girl friend... In a way, i can decode what she's saying (sometimes)..
She gives me hell sometimes, but i guess its just my fault...
I've seen her good and bad sides many times over, and i still love her...and would do many things for her... Am i a passionate undying lover(like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Steven Seagul), or just a glutton for punishment? Who cares? I love her... haha...

Saturday, June 19, 2004

My driving experience

Coming 5th July is my driving test and given the straightforward and cheery nature of my instructors at my driving school, they told me what i needed to hear.

HGBW: Hey dude! Wassup? Im like into my 28th lesson, you think I might score for the big one?

Instructor: Simi Lan Jiao Chao Che Bye (in a cheery tone) you pass what pass? you jus now almost bwang tat carrr

HGBW: But he changed lanes adruptly without signaling with a clearance the width of a malnourished human hair

Instructor: You say my hair what? A perm at reds farkin expensive hor. You hor, when you get your license har, can do whadever you want. But when you drive with me Chow ah Beng, you jam your brake! Like this (proceeds to jam the brake while im still at 50km/h)

HGBW: I think I broke neck...

Thus an excellent example of the most excellent repartee between the sex-deprived chain smoking monkey and me whenever I decide I want the shit kicked out of me by inertia. The singaporean emphasis on driving without limits so long as its in the driving theory books seem to spawn the worst kind of drivers in the known world. Safety is always stressed upon in as many colourful dialects as possible but frankly, maybe if we actually showed junior drivers the importance of courtesy and taught with that dogma instead... we wont be in such a hurry to prove to everyone we are right by way of the Highway theory books.

Good Charlotte (a rock band for you NooBs) sings a song called boys and girls. I kinda believe them when they yelp the words "girls dont like boys, girls like cars and moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
Sometimes, its easy to be cynical in such a material world. Do we get more interested in a Ferrari Enzo or a world renowned blading champion (who happened to be french and at a runway cycling event today)? I watched the nubile middle aged thing flutter like she was all joints around teeny tiny cones. Then the Enzo zoomed past with its 6L engine and blasted a hole in the time space continuum. Everyone's head turned (including the french rollerblader , who naturally fell from the aftershock). I bet even the F-5 we had couldnt outrace that damned car. But thats the point, how can an act of such grace and beauty be repealed by an oil guzzling machine whose only job is to go where its wheels turn? Why? Cause its a freaking Enzo thats why...

Oh well... enough thinking...
Do whatever you want to do with this blog moist dirty chicken... but dont reveal my secret identity as Bob (the dog formerly known as Eric)

Friday, June 18, 2004

for those who rather not use a dictionary to decrypt what the horny goat has said (DAMN i need some of whatever he's taking), i'll just summarize hos ramblings into something short and sweet..
Horny goat: I need a girl to ride ride ride, i need a girl to make my biatch, i need a girl thats mine all mine, i need a girl, in my life....

i havnt been updating this blog much, cos i've been busy the past few days...
damnit... need... proper ...sleep....liquid sleep just don't cut it anymore...
its amazing how the SAF can train such useless dogs to do patrols...
i have a doggy.. i walk the doggy some nights... I shall call the doggy "Bob" (real name withheld to protect the identity of Eric). Now, Bob, is supposed to patrol the compound of a military camp, actively sniffing around, looking out for hostile intruders(or the occasional Bangara Worker who wandered into the camp looking for the packet of Masala flavoured Maggi Mee he misplaced earlier) Bob is a fierce dog.. and very strong, except for the fact that he attacks Car tyres, chews up drink cans, puts holes in my bottles(the fag owes me a new green bottle), pees on random grass patches, eats bees and grass...etc...

ugh... too sleepy to type further... will, get,...sleep...

ps. it aint much of an online diary if we dont give the addy to other ppl... dont you think?

Monday, June 14, 2004

Life as I know it.

Life as I know it seems to be my own version of the chaos theory... Lack of definition in every single aspect until I decide to try to interpret it myself. But the very nature of chaos is such that there is no order... no law governing it. All anyone can hope to do is circumscribe enough of it to make sense to them. Subjective flawed definitions which brings temporary sanity in a world where oxymorons are the iconic norm.

Everything seems so simple for everyone else, but I know that cannot be true.

You and me we used to walk,
slowly, like summer wind.
Rustling softly off the grass,
places I've never been.

I wrote a note in a paper boat,
and left it at the pier.
But paper sinks and hope,
both slowly disappear.

I walk along the street but I try to fly,
I know how but not why.
But this I do know even if i cant define,
you are life itself and life is truely divine.

Lets get to the prosaic...
1) Great... now im writing poetry... soon the guys will think im gay and stop hanging out with me. So here I am in national service (RSAF - Medical Flight) and serving time for simple crimes like being born to this country of mine. And guess what? Its making me so depressed I have turned to blogging. That sappy poem is inspired (weakly) from my 14th rejection from a healthy female girl.

Yes good citizens of the world! 14 rejections and I think a deity somewhere is trying to prove a point to me with this. But like the simple peon I am, (yes Sir!, no Sir!, three bags full Sir!) I do believe I wont give up on number 14! Its not about compatibility, nor chemistry, nor any other one of the millions of myraid reasons any marriage counseller can dredge up. Its about the "rightness" (for lack of a better term) of the entire situation. This has led me to believe that im either exceedingly stupid or im about to write a book on BGR theories and become a multimillionaire.

Either scenario is highly probable, either way I will be driving a Porsche 911 since i'll be either stinking rich or just plain hallucinating from the detergents I will drink. But I digress. Lets just say you *think* you have found the one. The one which completes that annoyingly complex Jigsaw which is your life. Do u let it go? Or base everything on a hunch?

So many questions, but us guys are really not equipped for emotionally wracked conundrums. Heck, if we could have it our way, we would probably prefer hoes who can make up their minds when we do.

Ok, time to sleep, will update this page as regularly as possible.

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Horny goat thinks crazy thoughts while breaking Wind

What is Sophistry? I guess it can be defined simply as a deception of arguement or is it argumentative deception? Is that just an actual definition or rather an attempt at a definition? Anyone who has lived the life of the big cities know the pressures, expectations and harsh reality of life. This is gonna be my life story, how i can interpret myself and find some direction and meaning to the life I am obliged to live.

It is impossible to define anything as an absolute. Simple analogy; can we say that we are the same person from day to day? Is this the result of experiences combined with ever changing bio-chemistry our body undergoes or can it be explained by religion? I have no facts, rambling thoughts do not deserve that. Facts are for individuals that require a substantiated view of what they know. Are facts, statistics the truth? Can they define our existence? and Why? Why *should* facts define our existence?

We live by a few core values which generations of ever more educated men have built on. Firstly, we have Law, then culture (or the obligations of such) and then religion. WHY do we require such guidelines to direct our existence? Do we no longer go by our emotions? our feelings? Assuming a child is educated strictly on neutral terms with total sensory deprivation, would he be able to judge right and wrong? Can we no longer rely on ourselves to do the right thing? In a need to justify themselves, men in power like to tamper with things. Is "do good" too broad and general a command for all three values? Why must we constantly seperate and force a nomenclature to every situation?

No one can really imagine a utopia where everyone does what is lawful and good. But can it happen? Why cant it happen? Social experimentation is the next step in our ever developing race, but no one likes to upset the masses. Its all about approval, how can we really say that the right way is really the right way? Is it just the best way to proceed from the best economic, political standpoint?

I have loved once. I went totally by my emotions, my roller-coaster of emotions. They threatened to engulf me. I could find no respite, I was running a gamut of feelings so varied that unless I could define it, I would never rest. That is man's greatest fault. Trying to define something which cannot be defined. I have no doubt that sufficient scientific progress can define love in equations. But not everyone is a physicist.

She rejected me. I can be forthright and say that it is my fault. But whose fault is it really? Is it just so much strength in spirit that it can never be put down? When life is ruled by circumstances, is it really life or just a program in which deviation means disaster? Can we trust anything that we can feel so deeply anymore? Do we allow ourselves to love too much or do we close ourselves because of expectations from everyone? Why do we go insane over such noticeably trivial things? Individuals form expectations which are transparent and seemingly non-attainable. Should we try? Is our greatest fault and strength our overwhelming ambition and the need to live up to expectations? Can we even face ourselves if we do not try our very best? Can we be happy under-achievers? instead of unhappy successful over-achievers?

There cant be a definition for everything that goes through my head. That is the problem with men in general, we need to define what we cant understand. Do women just understand and flow with nature? Why do we always strive to change it. Anger cant be a factor in everything although sometimes it works itself in mysterious ways so much so that even we do not know we are angry until it comes rushing out like so much unexplained non-intentions.

Society is much too rigid, we stage protests and we apply permits/licenses for it. what happened to spontaenous change? Why protest when instead of deliberating on what to do, we just feel? Maybe nothing is ever wrong, It just is a different approach to the end. Even if a singular approach reaches its objectives faster and with less expenditure of resources, do we learn as much? Is our world so cluttered with regulations, legal issues and the interests of the shareholder that not even we can do something different to even try to see if cluttered in that unholy mess, there is an answer waiting to be unearthed? When stripped of purpose and challenges, do men automatically recede into self-degredation? If so, then are the current pillars of our society just so much justification from centuries of men trying to fill up their empty lives or do they feel an instinctive need to show the easy road to peoples after that?

Is it right to just let individuals absorb up to decades of study while actively surpressing "wrong" thoughts and encourage just variations of the right way as creative? The error inherent in everything is a learning process. But essential errors in a few things can be the answer to others. That is the path to true understanding. to first go by your gut instinct then correct it yourself. Would that be a more actively approachable learning method. Is this the beginnings of chaos or just the manifestation of a more thought orientated society. Answers must always be provided and not found. If left alone with the question of pythagoras's theorem, how many individuals can orchestrate the solutuion? How many more can come up with their own unique methods?

I believe in free will, truth and above all love. So bittersweet a concoction. So tender in its silent moments but so elemental in its fury. Sometimes we can ill afford to deliberate on the ecstacy of its existence, we just live it. did I not however, want to define everything? I admire love, I admire those who are in love. Equally, I pity those who have never experienced true love. Who let the gradual progress of friendship build up into something more. Can passion exist in such a romance? Built upon stability and the gradual orientation of each individual to the personality of the other. This fosters love which is the preferable love. Logical, connective and totally stable. But can it hold a candle to love that burns the soul, consumes all rational thought? A love that sweeps away everything and lays bare the soul without regards to any values or education. To go beyond rational thinking to the abstract feelings and emotions of that human being. It does not have to be erotic, it does nto have to be about caring for that individual. Even proximity or the sight of the object of love can send tremors up spines, paralyze thinking and make fools out of geniuses. Rarely is this form of love reciprocated, rare is the instance that both feel the same way. That is the most perfect love of all. That can be defined as a soul partner. So rare the possibility that such opportunities fire the imagination of entire societies. Culture is born from that very thought, cultures are broken from that very thought.

So what exactly is sad? when it is not reciprocated of course. Such can only be described as denial of one memeber from the very essence of what he/she is and has already made him/herself a tool of society, to the demands and will of society. This is not only a sad thing, it is deplorable. But what if the other individual does not reciprocate because he/she does not feel anything? Is that the sadder? Is compatibility everything? Or can we just depend on our senses?

Friday, June 11, 2004

Welcome

Welcome to the blog that has no meaning or direction whatsoever.
We are currently on a journey to discover the purpose of starting this blog...
Until then, please enjoy the directionless babblings that is Roti Prata Kosong Satu.

The current picture i am in to right now..