Life as I know it.

Life as I know it seems to be my own version of the chaos theory... Lack of definition in every single aspect until I decide to try to interpret it myself. But the very nature of chaos is such that there is no order... no law governing it. All anyone can hope to do is circumscribe enough of it to make sense to them. Subjective flawed definitions which brings temporary sanity in a world where oxymorons are the iconic norm.

Everything seems so simple for everyone else, but I know that cannot be true.

You and me we used to walk,
slowly, like summer wind.
Rustling softly off the grass,
places I've never been.

I wrote a note in a paper boat,
and left it at the pier.
But paper sinks and hope,
both slowly disappear.

I walk along the street but I try to fly,
I know how but not why.
But this I do know even if i cant define,
you are life itself and life is truely divine.

Lets get to the prosaic...
1) Great... now im writing poetry... soon the guys will think im gay and stop hanging out with me. So here I am in national service (RSAF - Medical Flight) and serving time for simple crimes like being born to this country of mine. And guess what? Its making me so depressed I have turned to blogging. That sappy poem is inspired (weakly) from my 14th rejection from a healthy female girl.

Yes good citizens of the world! 14 rejections and I think a deity somewhere is trying to prove a point to me with this. But like the simple peon I am, (yes Sir!, no Sir!, three bags full Sir!) I do believe I wont give up on number 14! Its not about compatibility, nor chemistry, nor any other one of the millions of myraid reasons any marriage counseller can dredge up. Its about the "rightness" (for lack of a better term) of the entire situation. This has led me to believe that im either exceedingly stupid or im about to write a book on BGR theories and become a multimillionaire.

Either scenario is highly probable, either way I will be driving a Porsche 911 since i'll be either stinking rich or just plain hallucinating from the detergents I will drink. But I digress. Lets just say you *think* you have found the one. The one which completes that annoyingly complex Jigsaw which is your life. Do u let it go? Or base everything on a hunch?

So many questions, but us guys are really not equipped for emotionally wracked conundrums. Heck, if we could have it our way, we would probably prefer hoes who can make up their minds when we do.

Ok, time to sleep, will update this page as regularly as possible.