My driving experience

Coming 5th July is my driving test and given the straightforward and cheery nature of my instructors at my driving school, they told me what i needed to hear.

HGBW: Hey dude! Wassup? Im like into my 28th lesson, you think I might score for the big one?

Instructor: Simi Lan Jiao Chao Che Bye (in a cheery tone) you pass what pass? you jus now almost bwang tat carrr

HGBW: But he changed lanes adruptly without signaling with a clearance the width of a malnourished human hair

Instructor: You say my hair what? A perm at reds farkin expensive hor. You hor, when you get your license har, can do whadever you want. But when you drive with me Chow ah Beng, you jam your brake! Like this (proceeds to jam the brake while im still at 50km/h)

HGBW: I think I broke neck...

Thus an excellent example of the most excellent repartee between the sex-deprived chain smoking monkey and me whenever I decide I want the shit kicked out of me by inertia. The singaporean emphasis on driving without limits so long as its in the driving theory books seem to spawn the worst kind of drivers in the known world. Safety is always stressed upon in as many colourful dialects as possible but frankly, maybe if we actually showed junior drivers the importance of courtesy and taught with that dogma instead... we wont be in such a hurry to prove to everyone we are right by way of the Highway theory books.

Good Charlotte (a rock band for you NooBs) sings a song called boys and girls. I kinda believe them when they yelp the words "girls dont like boys, girls like cars and moneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
Sometimes, its easy to be cynical in such a material world. Do we get more interested in a Ferrari Enzo or a world renowned blading champion (who happened to be french and at a runway cycling event today)? I watched the nubile middle aged thing flutter like she was all joints around teeny tiny cones. Then the Enzo zoomed past with its 6L engine and blasted a hole in the time space continuum. Everyone's head turned (including the french rollerblader , who naturally fell from the aftershock). I bet even the F-5 we had couldnt outrace that damned car. But thats the point, how can an act of such grace and beauty be repealed by an oil guzzling machine whose only job is to go where its wheels turn? Why? Cause its a freaking Enzo thats why...

Oh well... enough thinking...
Do whatever you want to do with this blog moist dirty chicken... but dont reveal my secret identity as Bob (the dog formerly known as Eric)