Chilli Crab craving

I never thought I would say this but Im starting to fantasize about enormous huge crab carcasses drowned in that weird sugary, milky chilli gravy mix... It is of course a far cry to the goo they dump on my plate. Firstly, the crab stays dead, the goo quivers a little when I drown it with tomato sauce (Quote from Mr Man: Anything is edible with sufficient ketchup). Also, the goo has inconsitent intexture, its like a Kinder surprise, it is cold and salty in one part and burning hot but bitter in another. Chilli crab is just a wonderful mixture of MSG+crab+water. Also, diarrhoea is guaranteed with a second helping of the goo (I found out they call it Raviolli) but Chilli Crab only gives diarrhoea to those of weak bowels.
Chilli crab also has EQ enhancing properties, the evil hokkien spewing uncle turns into your favourite uncle when you try to get some chilli crab from his questionable store. The orgess that plonks the goo 50cm to the right of the plate remains the orgess and gains meaness with every serving... the eventual result... is more raviolli, albeit cooked 2 secs faster than the usual 5. So basically, boiled pasta and cheese in salty water.
Actually, I miss army a little, I miss being told what to do... which basically was whatever the Enciks were supposed to do. I miss eating instant noodles by the runway, watching C-130s fly by and talking about life after NS (and now im talking about life before ORD). I miss the food (cause anything is better than the barely living goo). I miss the doctors (cause they liked to gimme more work and entertained me while I did it). I miss the fish in the waiting area(cause they were dead and stinky and kept away patients). I miss the hot dental officer (cause she was the only thing to look at for 2 years). I miss the lazy afternoon swims (cause I can get a tan during office hours by justifying it as exercise!!! WOOT). I miss my 2 minions (cause they made good coffee and fetched snacks promptly). I miss the dispensary (free drugs... duh!). I miss the patients (no... actually I dont miss that bunch of winos). I miss the dental centre (cause the playstation 2 was there). I miss 122 SQN (cause they let me use their flight simulator and never complained when I broke it). I miss my OC (Cause he was the only one who would talk about cars and women to me in camp). I miss my fellow Departmental ICs (Cause they seldom arrowed shit to me). I miss the DXOs (cause it proved to me that people can be useless AND employed too). I miss the retarded drinking sessions at the Specialists mess (which we would sleep off in the sickbay with the sickos). I miss the doctor's retarded drinking sessions at the officer's mess (which they would sleep off in the sickbay with the sickos). I miss the sickbay (cause it was the only clean room and thus easier to rollerblade on). I miss the pantry (cause the cute rats would turn up there). I miss the Ops room (cause that was where Corporal Mario would show us his next fuck). I miss the NS drivers (cause they would always buy supper for us when we wanted). I miss the consultation room (cause I spent so many caffeine charged late nights there doing paperwork and making my minions repeat my directives). I miss my CPR lectures (cause once everyone fell asleep, we could pretend to have finished and sneak off for some Prata!!!) I miss the RP (regimental police) (cause they always let my car in by asking me if I had a bomb instead of checking the boot). I miss my upperstudy (cause he fled before the ISO audit and made me a god (Dept IC) earlier). I miss the ISO Audits (cause it proved to me that my eyebags can be big enough to scare my mom. I miss Xmas in camp (cause we had a potluck thing and everyone brought wine instead of food). I miss the base commander (cause he liked to sound off for the Annual base run and then drive home). I miss going to NUS for Medical board (cause I hav mastered the art of bypassing the barrier in the carpark n thereby impressing the babes). I miss the Mobile canteen (cause nothing beats super sugary milk tea in the morning with the instant noodles). I miss the free army stuff (which might explain the regular water stopages). I miss the torture we inflicted on the rats we caught (cause only doctors know the true art of inflicting pain). I miss how bullshit the army was (no comment).

Yup, I miss the army. Lucky Mr Man, he can look forward to that garden of love. Nah im kidding, you will hate it with an intensity you can never imagine UNLESS you get a cushy job like mine with power involved. Then it becomes chilli crab instead of baseline alive goo. Lucky Mr Man, with rheumatism in his err... left ankle was it? I can never remember, you keep changing the location. But that mobile rheumatism will get you a cushy job... once you get it settled down in one location.