Who needs a girlfriend?

Who needs a girlfriend indeed? One thing I have learnt from Australia which I shall now impart upon my circle of animals and a man who believes he is not one of us animals is that its much more fun to observe the insane freedom of adolescent hormones than to be dragged into it. Unless of course one is masochistic and loves pain, in which case its still a better idea to invite the below pictured to a party than to be involved in the literal shitfest that goes on.

-Jian "I am not a sandy pussy hor" Hou, real name of chio bu withheld for his protection

Let me give you a pictorial example of my wine party (i.e. get girls shit-faced drunk) over in Melbourne and the difference between a typical Ang Moh and the goat who is now terrified of crazy women who do crazy things (trust me, I am deriving from multiple instances and examples).

All friends are female

Friend1: Cool house
Friend2: yea, real cool
Friend3: Oh my god, is that a real Ang Moh Lang?
Ang Moh: Me so randy
Goat: Argh... too... much... testosterone... Mr Man had... only... 1/10th... of his... hormonal... flood
Friend2: Oh goat, you never told me you had such a beautiful Ang Moh Lang
Friend1: Hands off bitch, hes mine!
Friend3: First one to the Ang Moh Lang wins!
-Goat exits praying for absolution for inviting Ang Moh Lang-
Ang Moh: Haha! They are all mine! Mine! Say hello to my liddle buddy...

I love to exaggerate and in the Ang Moh's defence, he was really trying and my friends were drunk. But all I could think of is how grandpa goat will go medieval on my ass if I did anything outta line in his house.
Anyway, I *think* the girls behaved but that didnt stop them from posing with the Ang Moh when he wiggled his hips suggestively.

-Yes... charissa behaved im sure, look how close she is with Daphane... err wait a minute...

I tried to wiggle my hips but I dislocated my left femur off my hip and crouched there in pain till someone decided to take a photo to prove I was there.

-Lookie, there r 2 bottles of wine to the right of the pic. Surveys have shown 2 bottles of empty wine was more interesting than me trying to put my hip back

Anyway, I think I try too hard for the pictures cause I need some comic relief, but everyone says I look 16 when I dont try, at least in this pic I look 16 and 2 months (I hate my evil frank friends). Anyway, here is charissa n fren being nice enough to take a pic with me (we *have* been friends through 2.something years)

-Contrary to what u might think, I actually tanned in the backyard cause the beach was too far away... and yes... the girls r huddling away from me

Its been really fun thus far but Chicken, we have to move on to plan B (Russian mail order bitches).