LIGHT!!!

Ok... its not really light but I have an internet connection at bloody long last. I have been to Singapore and back again so to recap I have divided this SUPER long post into three individual sections.

1) International House vs Warrane College(all boys college), Da Ultimatest showdown
2) Singapore, Highlights!!!
3) My girlfriend, why mine is better than yours

International House is where I decided to plant my lazy ass (no more cooking!!!) for the rest of my time here. The first thing I noticed was the complete lack of Hygiene, the bars on my windows and the bare brick walls.



Dammit!!! I thought. But I soon realised that compared to my old room, my parents would be less inclined to drop by due to the excessive reek of unwashed international students and fermented coffee.



As you can see, once your parents drop by in clean beautiful warrane, there really aint much room on the bed for sleeping purposes and of course, they tend to nag if u bring back the ladies.

The friendly priests at Opus Dei (some Catholic Subgenre) had dictated that anyone who mattered talked to god (skipping out on some anti-psychotic medications at the same time). Thus, talking to other people should be as inconvenient as possible... thus inventing what could only be described as "The Phone Cell" or



Yes... I talked to all my loved ones in there... I decided to exclude God for reasons of spite.

But that didnt mean it was all parents and a dingy phone cell. Once in a while, when the collective boyish spirit grabs a hold of us, we would hold a strictly heterosexual Mardis Gras of over the top eating... Then once we were high on Lamb fat and Lee Kum Kee Chilli oil, we would go insane and take compromising photos.



I seriously think that the gayness of Warrane balances out the filthiness of International House. Of course, the only difference would be the extreme abundance of bouncy jiggly girls in International House. However, as I have not spent any time looking at them or even measuring the obtuse angles of their curves, I naturally have no photos (Yes mom... I really am studying... girls dont excite me... Ocular Pathology excites me)

Singapore was kinda cool, I met Mr Cow and watched him get more hornier than a teenager on Viagra off east coast.

First you get any random monkey squatting off the side of the road, a masturbating one is good. Specifically the one that contributes to this blog is best.



Mr Cow will start getting Horny and rub his body against random poles to begin with, Mr Monkey decided to pose with the bovine man as Mr Cow is ostensibly Heterosexual.



What happened later will haunt the dreams of all who were walking past east coast that day and made Mr Monkey a much wiser (albeit sadder) monkey.



Meanwhile, Mrs Cow cycles on unaware of Mr Cow's infidelity and making herself look more photogenic than normal through the use of her "V is for VICTORY" symbolism while I frantically explain that Mr Cow is Anwaring Mr Monkey.



Here, we see Mr Cow doing his Post-intercourse cow dance on shoes with 4 small wheels (Not recommended for the faint of heart).



Here we see Mr Cow after he has fallen down from his dance and Mr Goat the highly efficient medic taking a photo before he decides NOT to commence CPR due to hygiene purposes.



No amount of pain could ever make up for this highly delightful photo of eveyone *in* pain. We were just high from the donuts we stole off the homeless guy.



10 Reasons Why my girlfriend is better than yours

1) She is a fashion critique of the highest calibre especially in women's Haute Couture shoes.



2) I drive a 1.3L car.



She Drives a 1.3L car.



3) You dont have to de-louse my girlfriend.



4) She is not a midget



5) Her secret identity as a fire breathing dragon assures me free access to her
treasure hoard without becoming a LvL 50 Paladin with Phat Lewt.



6) She is good at jobs which involves blowing.



I dont know what you guys were thinking but this is my baby's BIRTHDAY!!! Yea! Her birthday is on 12th of Feb, I expect all you farm animals to have her tribute in the day before.

7) Her artistic skills are beyond par.



8) She likes cake



9+10) I ran out of ideas and im tired and I really wanna get this post out so u lot wont think I have transmorgified into a nerd. But just to finish it... it equals to 19

HIT ME BACK!!! IM BACK!!!

Sleepy and tired

Damnit, there's no time to write anything here anymore...nothin but tests n stuff every other week.
But its spring break now... and im still short of time..hmm... did i mention im sleepy too? hmm.. nevermind..

I'll do a short post cos i have to wake up in a few hours to drive to chicago.. plus i cant really find my photos...


Event: Duck Tape Your RA(Residential Advisor)


Yes, it is that time of the year again, where you waste rolls of good duck tape(that could be used to tape a car together) to aimlessly stick people to the wall.
The objective of the gmae, was to tape your RA to the wall, and the Last standing RA(after the rest have fallen) wins, and his/her floor gets a pizza party..
It sounded like a perfect plan,
Except for the fact that my RA had the force of 1000 Cheese Pizzas on his side. (some call it the "Dark Side", but he still prefers the name "Domino's Pizza")


No prizes for guessing whether we won or lost...


I gave up listening to fortune cookies for advice on life matters... Because they just started to get plain weird...


And just when you've given up all hope on fortune cookies, they fight back!



It was Unofficial St. Patrick's Day a few friday's ago...

History Lesson:
St. Patrick is a whacko Irish guy who likes to drink all the alcohol he can get his hands on(ie. like every other College Student). So, in honor(notice the American spelling of "Honour"? I wanna be an American Idiot *Zhang Zhang Zhang Zhangggg* <-Jams guitar) of such a brave individual who values his sociability more than his liver, college students around America celebrate St Patrick's day one friday. Bars open at 8am, students go to school drunk and Walmart sees a sudden increase in Alcohol sales to youngsters with fake IDs.
In honor of St Patrick's day, I had to make a trip to Walmart to fill my car up with happy juice.


To Mummy: I DID NOT drink or buy all of that... I DID NOT...


Where else on earth can u find 6 different beers made from 6 different countries?(i think)

Ans: In Walmart


Another tradition on St Patrick's day, was to wear green... cos The Irish believe that vomit stains look best on Green colored clothes.


Ok, im sleepy.. will post more pics after my spring break trip to Florida...