Taiwan

Woah.. i havnt posted for ages.. im bored.. so here is random photos from Taiwan.. I would post photos of Russia, but all the pics are in another camera which I have no idea where it is...

Taiwan is a magical place, where there are lots of Chinese people everywhere. And they all speak chinese too. Their staple diet is Smelly Tou-Fu and their rulers are Selena, Hebe and Ella. Here is a pictorial walkthrough of the land of computer motherboards.



This is smelly Tou-Fu.. You cant see it cos its in a bag and you cant smell it cos its just a picture. But you have to trust me anyways... It gets most of its smell from some sort of fish paste, which was most probably grinded down from the little fishes that swim in the drains nearby. Its a good thing my AIA travel insurance covers hospitalization charges due to food poisoning from roadside vendors that used drain fishes. The vendor that sold us the tou-fu was illegal, so the fact that there is a police car in the background means that the Vendor is hiding somewhere.



Most probably in some shop behind a pilar




Taiwan is famous for its overly-sweet desserts. This mango and condensed milk with ice would send any diabetic to the emergency room (not covered by AIA travel insurance)




Of course, no holiday is complete without trying the local McDonalds. This one is a Mc La-1 Ji-1 meal. Consists of a thin grilled chicken patty drowned in teriyaki sauce, topped with more green vegetables than my turtle can handle and some of that purple-ish vegetable too. Void of taste and nutrition, most locals opt for the more sensible choice of Smelly Tou-Fu, even though it sends them to the hospital.




This is the Sun Yat Sen memorial. Apparently Sun Yat Sen did lots of cool things for Taiwan, so they built an awesome building for him, not forgetting to add a tourist shop to it too. When our Dictator Lee passes on, us singaporeans will build a monument for him too. Most probably it will be shaped like a durian too.




This is the Taipei 101 shopping centre. Made out of old Asus motherboards, it was build to resemble a shoot of bamboo, with weird thingys coming down all over. They sell big expensive designer goods inside that make boyfriends want to cry.




This is random Taiwan Night Market. The people here are rude like russians. Night markets sell basically almost everything Bangkok's markets sell. ok im bored.. im going to play games...

Bangkok secrets

My flight has been delayed 70 minutes, so here I am. Theres a pay to surf wireless net in the airport, but then I tried the infallible lazy programmer username/password = test/test, and I can surf. Haha

Nothing to do in Bangcock airport

Hi everybody,
I haven't posted for ages but mostly because I can't be bothered to. Thus an unique situation must appear to resort to this. After surfing all the websites I know, not the naughty ones though, I have the final option to blog.....

What has happened in the last 6 months.....
I have finished my Honours Year Project and Presentation..... I would post the final copy, but I can summarize it in a few words. Oooga Booga Wiggly Woo, thats right.

I also went to Sweden to visit Linnea for a month , stop calling her Mrs Man. We also went to Italy for one and a half weeks. I realize my photos aren't nearly as funny as the Goats or the Chickens or the Monkeys, but I'll post it up anyways. I also realize I have signed up for virtually any free service there is, google, hotmail, photobucket, flickr...... So now I just try my default username/password, and I'm in. Sometimes I'm surprised it works myself.

So first, I saw the coliseum, its ok. No gladiators and hippos though



Same girlfriend.



Leaning tower of pisa, its really leaning


Wineyard in Chianti, wine cheaper than water


Spaghetti Bolognese in Bologna



Also went to vatican city + Florence, but no cool pics yet cos my plane is like late or something, i gotta go check it out.

Ill end it with a cool italian car pic


Can ur fortuner beat this suckah !!!!!

Spare time

Im bored. Skool is getting me down so I decided to have fun with leftover pictures from our common DAFANSU photo repository. The next few pictures are actually joshuas' so I will primarily focus on him



"I am JOSHUA! I am a friendly SNAG from a tiny island in Singapore. These are my friends. One of which is a wild animal (can anyone say Eric?) and the other has huge sunglasses cause she is afraid of cataracts."



This is my passion. My passion are tyres. Tyres remind me of the days of old where our forefathers had to work in rubber plantations to scrape together enough money to buy a pimped out bicycle.



I am Joshua. I love my tyres. Can u see its nice black threads? Its shiney rims? ooooh



Did i mention I love tyres?



This is the love of my life. A simple farmyard animal disguised as a man. He and I have been together since we were in primary school. This is him as the King of the cows blowing out a blazing fire to save the cake from a sure and utter end at the inferno of DOOM!



I am Joshua! I love electronics. The more parts there are... the better! If I dont get electrocuted at least once a day by my handphone (and its misc. parts), I will run into random cars on the road with my progressively larger cars...





With my new dad's fortuner (2.5L TURBO!)... I will crush even...



Singapore's crappy new battle tank which only has a 3L diesal engine. If only they didnt pay the ministers so much, they can probably afford better hardware!!! I mean seriously... Humvees are like 6.2 L... if a Jeep has 6.2L, a tank with 3L sure die one.

Sydney!!!!

Sydney is starting to feel like home, not quite the home you go home to. But rather it feels more like the bunk you had back in BMT. It does not quite feel right in all the proper places and you share it with 11 other guys but at least you feel a tinge of familiarity and belonging as you step back into the room.

The room being a lousy 2 by 4 (approx) with a painted ceiling and unpainted walls (why? forces of darkness? why?)

Anyway, the recent optometry faculty harbour cruise was on full swing with the usual supressed asian nerds going ga-ga trying to drink, chat up girls, devour as much free pizza as humanely possible and just act out... Sometimes all at once (which does make for quite a scene).
This being my 3rd (and hopefully final) year, me and some ol' chums decided to go all out to win the prize for best dressed to the theme "Freaks, Geeks and goddesses". Being Singaporean and genetically kiasu, I pushed for obviously the most unreachable target... goddess. I reasoned that either we succeed in our overly diabolical plan to win a dubious award (and an equally dubious bottle of wine) with our "dress as a goddess" plot or we would fail and fall into the freak zone. Either way, we had both bases covered.



Our pre-party operations included taking a photo of Vincent in his debut appearance as a goddess.



Then we all became goddesses. I think we overdid it a little with the pre-easter sales on bunny ears (2 bucks a pop).



I must say we felt a little intimidated at the Man 'O' War steps when security was bolstered at the entrance of the Opera House as we switched to Goddess Gear. Furthermore, everyone kinda dressed normally while we looked like a homosexual parade. But then again, that means we stood a better chance to win. After about 6 million embarassing photos, we finally got on the boat where we proceeded to get drunk enough not to feel socially out of place. That meant 4 beers at my current liver tolerance level.

Once we were less sober, we became what I like to call the frickin tourist photo spot when everyone and anyone came up to have their photos taken.







There is more... but my beer goggles were up and I dont remember them.



People dance till they sweat here... its practically insane. I remember flailing around alot in wild abandon trying to work off the alcohol. I think I took out an eye.

This Blog never changes

This is the current standard formula

1)I post
2)I post
3)I post
4)I bitch to everyone that no one is posting
5)I post
6)Ryan puts up a link to nowhere
7)Joshua posts something after 3 weeks
8)Mr Man posts more PR material for his money making scam... err I mean company

Sigh... this Blog did not quite work out the way I thought. The problem is that we are not having any real adventures. So I put to you that nothing is too trivial to be an adventure. ANYTHING... no matter how crap... I have thus put forward as an example what constitutes material which is unfit for anyone except for Americans... Americans watch anything... So long the colours arnt too dull...

Title: My photographically incomplete story of how I swindled a Malaysian boy to carry my Dad's RX-8 Bumper to the Airport

I didnt really think I would be blogging this... I only took these pictures to bitch to my parents about the size of boxes they want me to carry on top of my luggage...

Anyway...


The bleeding box was about my height... shy 5 cm perhaps.



I took this dramatic shot partially to compare the height of the tower of pisa with my luggage and also to elicit sympathy from dad.

He replied," Only lidat ah? In 1945 I carry about 100 boxes bloody bloody big whenever your mother go shopping ah"

I pointed out he didnt have to board a plane.

"Plane? Plane? Plane damn big ah... you and your mommy have to fit in my car ah... that time ah my car is about the size of your baby sister ah and only got 3 tires to save money"

I decided my dad could never pass physics 101 and bitched about the RX-8 Rims instead...

Anyway, I had with me my handy peon at the time because my El Cheapo streak blossomed up in me and I recruited a random Malaysian dude from my college. His only request? To watch a cantonese drama serial on my Laptop... At first I thought he was mildly retarded but I soon realised he had hours of that cantonese crap to run through and also the day before my flight as well.



Anyway... I finally managed to chase him off with vague promises of food and drink. If you ever have an asian in your room, just wave food in his face and he will bend over backwards. I would.



And he left.

You can pretty much guess what happened. He lugged that box all the way to the airport with me paying about 8 Aussie for the bus fare there and back and through some freakish luck, I got a foodcourt voucher for 15 bucks which I used to feed him.

Look guys!!! Blog entry!!! not difficult right? El Romeo will teacha ya da mysteries of randomness... It does not even have to be good... just something for us to read

Starhub is evil

Evil is a very loose word. I think deceptive pile of lying turd is probably closer. I dont know whats been happening to Starhub since I have been away for so long but apparantly they cut their own cables. Im unsure but it smells like conspiracy to me. So anyway, if you surf all the forums, apparantly they have been throttling bittorrent downloads for all their users. Even utorrent mentioned Singapore as an active participant in download throttling. I dont think anyone outside of Malaysia has heard of Singapore and this tiny upstart of a developer probably got slammed by the collective bitching of bittorrent users in Singapore.

I took all that crap with a huge hunk of salt and started playing World of Warcraft. Woot i thought, all i need is world of warcraft... WRONG!!! I needed cable as well... and Starhub took down my World of Warcraft as collateral damage. I can hardly play 20 minutes without a disconnect from my server leaving my Dwarf warrior to sprout dasies up his ass in the face of constantly respawning boars while I frantically try to re-log on. This is of course in comparison to the connection in Australia, Sydney where the disconnect is about 4 hours at a time. And this is comparing purpotedly 6 megabit cable connection to a 256 kb/s ADSL connection.

Anyway I ran some speed tests and everything seemed fine... Which made me suspicious... I am downloading OpenOffice at 30kb/s and you tell me I have 6 megabits available? You think I was only educated in Singapore??? Which basically means all the broadband companies offering speed evaluations were lying their ass off... I went to someplace called SAP in Singapore, stopped my downloads and I found my bandwidth was about 698.07 kbps. For everyone out there, thats like 9x less than the advertised rate. From a server in Singapore no less. This all smacks of false advertising and misleading and deceptive conduct (thank you Law Gen Ed class).

This is not meant to be funny... If you wanna fuck up Bittorrent users... Fuck them up. I could care less. But im a World of Warcraft user and my packets are worth more than your packets.

So anyway, in summery.

Starhub is

1) Shortchanging its customers (i.e. fucking them over)
2) Covering up their shit by saying they cut their own cable (or whatever)
3) Is misleading and deceptive (to me and thats all that matters)
4) Hates World of Warcraft users
5) Hates Bittorrent users
6) Is an all-powerful entity capable of doing all this crap and no one has dared go against it's green ass... almost like Bush and that Irag thing. Not that a bunch of sandy Arabs had a chance against 10 billion in explosives and enough lives to start summoning an Arch-Daemon.
7) Making me study for my GAMSAT because I have nothing better to do

End of an Era(Era of Optometry Exams)

Hooray!!! End of year 3! No more exams! In yo face stupid ministry "you cant speak chinese so you cant goto JC" of education!!! Educate my chinese ass ya punk ass unclefuckers!!! I will speak whatever the fuck I wanna speak!!! I will be earning A$120K while you pay a kidney and your first fucking born for a teeny tiny 2 by 4 in Jurong where Kong Guan Biscuit Employees will skullfuck your daughter till she fucking speaks chinese like "wo lai le"!!! You betta recognise ya blind shits.

Ok, rant over. I had to get it out of my system. I love the PAP and I will always be Lee Kwan Yew's Bitch. Vote PAP or Anwar will get jiggy with yo ass.

Whats been down in da hood yo? Nothing. The hood(U-nee-ver-city) is a collective mash of students who poison themselves collectively with increasing amounts of coffee and beer until either their brains or their livers start to dissolve as they keep their wastes in to cram in another paragraph of diatribe.

I went to Melbourne roughly 6 weeks ago, it was an experience. I did that self-journey to find your inner goat thing. This is what I found.



Anyway, after an uneventful flight, I finally reached Melbourne and spent time with Grandma with heart condition. In between I entertained myself.



Yes, I am not doing as well as I thought, yes the Singaporean Government was right to push me out of their Education system into vocational training. However, I am a bitter little man with a Blog on my hands and I am not afriad to use it to punish Joshua, Ryan and any poor soul who decides to read this shit.

Haha I ate all the Nissan Cup Noodles!!! God I miss that hydrogenated, fried, MSGed, Preservative-full shit which basically runs straight through your intestines unaltered as your body rejects the lump of fried salty plastic shit you choked down cause it tasted just a little bit like home.

And next, I decided to desecrate the room which the newly-engaged would be sleeping in. YES!!! My brother is engaged!!! That little twit is engaged!!! Congratulations! I slept on your bed and drooled on it!



Melbourne was boring, I left after 2 days cause term started. Went back to Warrane to steal games/anime/movies.



My physics Sifu decided to take a picture of me usurping his desk. I must admit I not only was not afriad, I didnt even notice.

And now the greatest invention of all time that an overworked overstressed university student could think of!!! What do you do when one day you want half-boiled eggs like the sort you find in Killiney Kopitiam and you would trade all your used cans of tuna for it but no one is a Karang Guni man???



Tada!!! Your coffee maker is now the perfect halfboiledeggamatic!!! It cooks evenly and your eggs come out pretty damned perfect, all you do is crack the top with your handy spoon and suck the delicious goodness out of there until you finish a dozen eggs and call your med student friend to check if doing that might in any way cause sterility.

Another 21st!!!! Everyone is turning 21 but me!!! Im turning 150... fuck this crap, I wanna be 12 again and stabbing my chinese testbook with the kitchen chopper.



Bunch of drunk guys. Whats a 21st without drunk people? Thats like a LAN party without computers.



And for the LAN party you need the software.



You can never have too much software.



The birthday boy, he was the drunkest but tried his best not to show it.



The birthday boy's Ex-girlfriend. Just because I can.

Anyway, be back in Singapore on the 3rd Dec. Be with family and car until the 6th so gimme a holler then ya? You know you wanna holler!!! I have a 2 day window for downloads so U better holler soon before I start Need for Speed Carbon and Neverwinter Nights 2...