UPDATE!!! (+Pics) JOSHUA... remember our deal!!!

BTW joshua, I am using the handy religious calender which states that the week begins on sunday just cause god created Ben and Jerries or some Evo VIII. So no more of your capitalist pig monday is the beginning of the week bullshit. Remember our credo, we are the capitalist pigs but the babes are in the churches.

Just a side note, for some reason, Mr Man is not manly anymore. There seems to be a whole influx of issues for us to deal with when we get back. Can you bring enough pineapple rum to re-constitute the Russian Vodka League? We have our work cut out for us...

Anyway... (I actually wrote the below yesterday but couldnt upload anything because some Uni server admin is blocking most of my upload and download bandwidth just cause I D/L 40G of games last week) So without further ado...

I have been well! I have been awesome!! Good cheer and fluff and foamy beer foam to us (excluding you miserable blog lurkers and Joshua's one million and one friends who tend to be all guys or lesbians).

Sydney has been well... mediocre, but thats because I dont have Joshua's army to entertain him with stories of more guys in hidden places which he should explore to amass enough guy friends so girls would have no choice but to go to him or turn lesbian... which goes into another interesting story about Joshua and his ex-girlfriend which I will leave to my next post.

I have been busy but now I shall upload my life (wif pics!) so my captive audience can tell me what a great person I am.



This was my room during last session's exam period. I think we can all agree it...



looks like my room after an insane drinking party but without the guys...



I have perfected the art of pear photography, the blur you see is just your eyes giving up at the magnificence of the view. In my professional opinion, you need glasses, come to me, I will fix you.



The amount of coffee left (in a 0.5 Kg tin) after 4 months of UNSW. They fired all the security on campus (this is true)!!! Of course I need that extra kick to go Bruce Lee (or Lao Fu Zhi) on whatever stupid white trash decides to try to take my precious Environmental Optometry notes away. (N.B. I am not saying that if you are white you are trash or you will rob me, Its just that Joshua is whiter than an angel on fire and he lied to me thus hurting my manly pride)

Next up...

Aileen Lim's 21st Birthday party... yes I am old. Yes you are old too... unless you are a girlfriend of monkey or chicken of course. But yes I am so old I listen to Frank Sinatra and Weird Al Yankovic.



This is the pre-party prep complete with overhanging chinese lucky red book which brings luck and head injuries to all within the apartment. Its a pirate thing! Thats why we all have drawn on facial hair and pirate patches.

Anyway, us guys as usual took ridiculous photos of our favourite pirate pose.


Thomas "I am laughing at the sky" Chan


Yao "I need to repaint the walls" Yao


Clarence "I will ride your ass" Yeong


And for the guys, here are some chicks that came with us. We were the plunder and rape pirates and they were the "which flower is biggest" girls. But they cool.


We had to travel through town with the traditional gifts being large assed flowers the size of a small European car.



Anyway at the party, the gang got together and we had fun etc etc etc... You know the stuff we do at clubs. Namely

1) Want to pick up girls
2) Too afriad to pick up girls due to mom's wise saying - do not speak to strangers
3) Hang out with hordes of guy friends
4) Get drunk to get up courage to talk to girls



5) Rinse and repeat

As usual, everyone got drunk as shit and started hallucinating about whores or man-whores or whatever animal turned them on.


And then everyone got sleepy or horny. I just got seedy. I do not apologise for that, I am seedy by nature. I just get seedier with alcohol.

Gargh, as per my above strategy, I did not get close to anyone but other guys or girls who were attached and whose boyfriends were my friends.



Anyway, this is a pic of Yao with the birthday girl (the one closest to him who isnt lisa). Mission accomplished, I got drunk and I vomitted and then I spent a week walking into walls. Moral of the story? Pay money for sex, going clubbing only poisons your liver (unless you are Mr Cow with his indomitable liver).

Next...

FIELD TRIP!!!

WOOT!

Anyway, I dont have many photos cause I hate taking photos.


Here is my lecturer. She believes fiercely in her belief. Ok fine, I dont know anything about her but I thought it was a hilarious pic.


A dude from Israel who took us to the place. He is Persian though. I get confused and sometimes utter Jihad around him and he ducks to the floor and start rummaging in his briefcase.


This is Vincent. Vincent is boring. I know perverted, SMU girl molesters more interesting than him.

Haha just kidding..



Its sad but true, I think I need more variety... I think I need Singapore. Sigh, homesickness never felt soooooo good.



Picture of the gang. As you can see all the guys are insanely psyched out about the field trip. All that did is make me feel older as I thought... stupid field trip, I could be at home playing Dark star one... Stupid Dark star one.. I could have scored higher for my BV prac quiz... Stupid prac quiz... I could just not do this and be in Singapore earning 2000 bucks a month selling glasses... Stupid job... why didnt I do something else like Corn farm production so I can be in Illinois making fun of Joshua?

Your move Joshua me lad...