To The Masturbating Monkey, With Love

Hello Mr Masturbating-Monkey-Who-Laughed-At-Me-Cos-Im-Going-To-A-University-
In-The-Middle-Of-2-Corn-Fields

I have only one thing to say,

The Assembly Hall is 5 minutes away from my dorm.

New York

New York is a beautiful place. Lots of cars.. Lots of people.. Lots of buildings that look like they wanna crumble any moment.. Basically its like Orchard Road, just much angrier... and dirty...


The good thing about New York, is the way the roads were designed. The entire city is filled with road intersections, ensuring traffic jams at all places all times of the day. Perfect for Taxi drivers who set their meters to jump at 40cent intervals when waiting for the traffic to move.

New York taxis are protected by this magical sheet of plastic with a hole in the centre. Necessary to protect drivers from muggers(or angry Singaporean tourists who can't believe how fast the meter jumps)

Its either Khawaja I-Bring-You-Down-To-Chinatown-For-$60 Anwar the Taxi driver, or..... the NYC Subway, which hasnt been renovated since the first World War.

Most of the subway is falling apart, instead of fixing it, they found it more effective to build a whole new line running next to the old one.. So commuters can have fun changing from line to line.. They just block off the broken line with a roll of yellow tape which stops all but the most determined of old ladies who may accidentally wander into them.



Either that, or you walk the streets of New York.. But with a traffic light crossing every 50m, you won't get very far on your 2 feet...



But new York aint all that bad.. There are tons of interesting places to go to..
ike The Metropolitian Museum of Fine Art...

Shown here in all its under-construction glory.

The museum is actually very very big.. It houses lotsa stuff from all sorts of cultures and people.. From pornographic statues from Amsterdam


To Chairs from Ikea(Sweden)


The museum's art pieces come from all over the world.


Then theres the Empire State Building. One of the taller buildings in NYC, it is a hub for tourists who can't wait to get ripped off.


Where inside, suckas are treated to a 2 hour wait, with fellow suckas alike, to pay US$15 to take the elevator up. Those who wist to cut their waiting time to 1 hour, may purchase the $30 tickets, which makes the staff close one eye while they cut ahead of the croud.


Once at the top of the building, suckas are treated to a spectacular view of NYC, covered in smog..


All this, still in the company of fellow suckas


Ground Zero, the place where the World Trade Centre once stood, is also a good place to go.. The spot where the world trade centre once stood, has been replaced by some sort of memorial..


The mood around the site remains solemn. So much so, that locals and tourists alike, all gather around it to pay respect with their cameras.

The site still remains a mess.

But fueled by the memories of those that lost their lives here once,
the good citizens of New York are slowly, but surely, building another target for terrorists to aim.


Like every major city, a Chinatown was created in New York for all the chinese to go and dirty up. Chinatown here was just like any other chinatown. Crowded and dirty, every shop looks like they'll take all your moneys away once you step in.

Nothing special. We got sick of it in less than an hour. Its just like the rest of New York, just with smaller buildings(to accomodate the smaller sized chinese).

We ended up eating at this small chinese restaurant, where we got a plate of fried rice for 8 US dollar.. Make you hollar...

We forgot to leave a tip, cos the service was bad, and they came chasing after us. That was probably the fastest they came to our service.

Anyways, that was one of the only few times we got to eat rice, cos most of New York is fueled by various sandwich joints, which serves nothing but sandwiches.

When I say sandwich, I mean Meat, with abit of bread to go with it.

Overall, New York is a pretty cool place.. It is enjoyable to visit, but not too many times.. My University amidst the fields of corn is by far, the most enjoyable place to be. As soon as i get over the fact that carrying a camera and going around taking pictures of everyone would get me beaten up, i will post pics of my campus and its surroundings(no prize for guessing what surrounds it).

8 Fever

I was wondering for a period of time why I started blogging then attributed it to Jihad extremists and how I like to eat Nasi Brani and the assorted prata associated dishes. We did start blogging a few months after 9/11 so for lack of any more intellectual grounds, I linked lousy airplane flying skills with my love for Malay cuisine to justify what is essentially a way for 4 singaporeans in 4 different countries to compete on who has the more spastic blog entry.

My life has been for lack of a better descriptive, like chicken's Honda Accord... smashed. I deny having hit anyone so hard it made a motorcycle dude's balls go blowfish on his ass but I guess you can get the general idea. I like to hint at what is going on in my life in vague generalisations so only basically chicken would have an idea on whats going on... and even then, I think he just skims it over and gets back to his anime in record time.

-Boring life details, skip to bottom for MAD RX-8 PICS complete with Female UNSW undergrad!!!

While listening to the couple have sex upstairs my new apartment, I review my life as it is, like bad cooking complete with the corpse of one self-immolated pan-fried cook or maybe just too many big mistakes which dont make any sense when made and only becomes apparant later.... hindsight is 20/20 (or 6/6 for us metric system freaks). So thus far for this winter holidays, I have changed the dynamics and maybe even violated one friendship through what I can only describe as chauvinistic weakness and thoughtlessness. It can be said that mistakes of my sort requires reciprocation to even make it a proper mistake but I disagree in all entirety. Does maturity lend responsibility? Or does experience play a larger part?

By trying to improve what I perceived as myself, I think I lost a bigger part of what I already perceive myself as. I think I need to obtain Enigma's "return to innocence" from somewhere, chicken, could u email it to me if ya got it? Thanx. I know it wont really work but at least I wont go stir crazy thinking too much abstractly.

-End of Boring life details, lets get to what I was doing this Hols!!!!



THATS RIGHT! Basically the clincher for me to come back to Singapore!!! 1.3 L Mazda RX-8 AT!!! I think I had driven that most wonderous automobile most of the time I was back, I only recall 2 days when I didnt drive it, the day I came back and the day I drove daddy goat's Merc. I drove it so much I achieved my earlier professed objective to burn up one small fossilised dinosaur. But that damn thing handles so freakin well, it was like trying to outrun a greased up irishman with one too many mugs of stout.



I really dont have any pics on me in Aus of the RX-8 in the garage so I had to get it off me friend Lorraine (Big Shout out to ya!!!). FYI, its the carpark basement of the esplanade off to the left where these were taken, I suppose it could be more picturesque but that was like the afternoon before my flight so time was limited (unless of course you keep at 7000 rpm and piss premium 98 unleaded).

I can recall some good times in that car which I will list here.
1) The time I almost gave Mrs Cow a heart attack when I squeezed past a bus and a car while driving her to the gay bar where Mr Cow was. (I dont ask, I just say it so it sounds scandalous)
2) Driving up SMU (to do Mr Cow's enrolment) playing mad indian music while getting stares from passers-by and making the security guard think Vishnu was about to go Prata on his ass.
3) Driving my grandma to the polyclinic in Bukit Merah and getting MORE stares from other vehicles.
4) Just sitting in it and pretending I was driving it when waiting for assorted individuals whom I was driving around.

Fine, im a car-whore. What can I say? Cars hurt me less than the cartload of shit I have experienced this year. Thats my RX-8 entry, wait up for my Maroubra apartment entry which I can probably get when I pirate another wireless internet signal.

Hello

Hello, I didn't really write anything the past few days cos i was busy packing for my trip tomorrow..(in a few hours). In fact, I still have lots to do, its 2 AM and yet im still typing rubbish here.. oh well.. I'll make it short...

I spent most of my time, trying to stuff all this stuff,


Into these 2 dingy bags...


During my Army life, squashing my clothes into little ziplock bags and taking them in and out and in and out of my field pack while a lowly educated buffoon(who has been given more power than he can handle) screams at me, has thaught me one thing... That you can vacuum pack just about anything if you try hard enough...
They don't call me pack-rat-choo for nothing. In fact, they don't call me that. Don't ever call me that.

The only thing i couldnt vacuum pack, was my laptop(pictured here, next to a normal laptop, to give u an idea, of just how huge it is)


I'm leaving for the states. Bye Bye. Will Be back in December I think.

I will miss everyone, but most of all, my parents...

If anyone has any problems, go to him.

As long as you give him Sesame seed balls with yam paste in them, he'll do just about anything for you(except eat them).

I need Singapore Prices

Can anyone give me these prices of the stuff below, real ones from Sim Lim. I have colleagues who want to buy. The prices in Sweden are much more expensive I think, but I have no idea what the prices are like in Singapore, cos I dont give a crap about digital cameras. So I call upon the great wisdom of the Chicken who knows all about prices of digital cameras to tell me.

Canon PowerShot S2 IS
Sony DSC-H1
Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ5

Memorycards? Kingston 512/1024 fast ones.

There's nothing to do in the night

I never sleep before 3 every night.
But what do I do late in the night, every night?
I seriously don't know.
I think I'm just staying awake for the sake of staying awake.
Well, of course I DO try to find something to do once in a while.
Take tonight for example...

12.50PM
Brush teeth.. Struggle to get rubberbands in mouth in/out(stupid bracers)

1.00AM
Sit down and stare at my komputer.. Trying to decide what to do for the next hour or so...

Ignore the wallpaper of a man's face, I don't know how it got there.

1.10AM
Get bored of staring at wallpaper, decide to go download stuff...
Take note, I only download from legit sites like www.download.com.
And I only download informative stuff.


(Bittorrent? Whats that? Never heard of it...)

1.30AM
Realize that downloading from Legit sites is boring, so decide to log on to MSN, see who's online and just as bored as me.. Then I meet my old nemesis...


Kang Gay : Choo Choo!


Me : Hello Kang Gay...


Kang Gay : Choo Choo! What you doing Choo Choo?


Me : Nothing much Kang Gay...


Kang Gay : Choo Choo! I need some help with my computer...

*silence*


Kang Gay : I changed my desktop wallpaper to something which I thinked was nice, but it not really me so I wan to change back.. but I donno how to...



*more silence*


Kang Gay : Choo Choo, are you there?


Kang Gay : Choo Choo?


Kang Gay has sent you a Nudge!


Kang Gay has sent you a Nudge!


Kang Gay has sent you a Nudge!

2.00AM
MSN was too much for me to handle, so I logged off for some peace and quiet.

2.15AM
I was bored to death, so I used GOOGLE to search for the word "stuff" and it brought me to a site called www.howstuffworks.com... Its really a treasure trove of information that would keep even the most knowledgeable of knowledgeables(really smart people) busy for hours.

2.30AM
I got bored and went to sleep.