Malaysia In A Nutshell

Here are some fun facts about Malaysia that we learnt on our trip up North.

Trainrides are long, and often fun(If you enjoy sleeping on chairs that go bump-bump-bump every few seconds). During the ride, light refreshments are provided(when I say "provided", I mean you have to buy them yourself). Gourmet train food includes Maggi Hot Bowl(Made in Malaysia) and Rail Friend Rice(Made by a Malaysian).


There are many cheap *hotels* avalable in the heart of KL(the place with the most shopping), cheap and dirty enough to put Singapore's Hotel 81 to shame. Backpackers dont need fancy Hotels with mini-bars that tempt you with drinks priced at a level only Bill Gates could afford(and thats of he was really thirsty and high enough on drugs to even want to touch the mini-bar). Our Homeless-Shelter-Themed rooms suited us just fine.


The LRT people in KL like to make these huge extravagant LRT stations, decorated with fancy metallic structures and Plasma Displays that play the same music video over and over again(our station played Joss Stone). Then, to finish it off, they put a train barely big enough to fill up 1/3 of the station when it docks. To add to the fun, they put no sort of sign to tell the people standing outside to let the people on the inside come out first. The result is a mass free-for-all orgy of office workers and clueless backpackers everytime the door opens.

The man with the Green Vertical Striped shirt has been there for quite some time now. He dares not enter the unknown that is the KL LRT Train, for fear of losing his virginity(he's been saving it for that special someone)

Night life in KL city is very much alive. There are a number of night markets all around which are home to Malaysia's greatest product... The pinnacle of Malaysian achievement(no, its not the Proton Saga)...

The RamlY Burger.
With more mayo and special sauce(known to cause hallucinations when taken excessively) than there is meat, its jam packed with enough cholesterol to kill a cow(or various other farm animals). Thats what makes it good.

Genting, is like a big castle in the clouds. Sitting the cable car up gives you the feeling, as if you're in a whole new world.


Then once you enter Genting itself, what you get is Nike, Issue and various other Butiks(thats Boutique spelled with a "K"). Its so gay(sucky)


Even the hotels in Genting are gay. At normal glance, its just an ordinary bed with 2 guys sleeping by the side. They sleep far apart cos they are not gay.


But once you turn off the lights, you get to see whats left behind by the previous occupant(who most prob ate one too many RamlY burgers and just so happened to jack off on the bed after watching Wrestling on TV, men in tights are such a turn-on).


Ipoh(as far as it sounds) really has nothing much to offer. It is a shanty town with a few large shopping centres here and there. When travelling around, we often got lost in the vast array of nothingness and empty buildings that is Ipoh.


There is only one reason why outsiders brave long busrides to get to Ipoh. To eat Ipoh Hor Funn.(Which is what we did)

My friend just told me that Ipoh Hor Funn is actually quite watery, and white.. And looks something like this..

Meaning we travelled all the way to Ipoh and ate the wrong Hor Funn...


Thus concludes "Malaysia In A Nutshell"
I shall leave you with the man who brought joy to our stay in Malaysia, Mr RamlY Bin Burger himself.