RamlY Burger, from Start to Finish

RamlY burgers are Malaysia's 2nd best product(the 1st being Protons).
Of course, RamlY burgers arent a natural phenomenon, they are man made. The journey from processing plant to toilet bowl is a long and grueling one.

Life starts at the RamlY Processing Plant, hidden deep in the jungles of Malaysia. RamlY workers have signed a contract with the RamlY Executives, stating that if they were to reveal the secret recipe of RamlY burger patties(6 part animal innards, 1 part fingernail dirt) to anyone outside the RamlY Circle of Trust, their "health benefits would expire". Of course, this literally meant their health benefits would be taken away from them. But being the impressionable and dim-witted(being impressionable and dim-witted are criteria for becoming a RamlY worker) crowd they are, they assumed it meant they would be killed.
First, the remains of various farm animals(no preference) are processed into convenient bite-sized patties by big menacing metallic machines. They are then packed into boxes and shipped to roadside stalls all around Malaysia, along with their patented special sauces.

Death comes in 3s. A dark brown sauce(I'll call it Secret X), a light brown sauce(Secret Y) and a white sticky sauce(Secret Z).

Now, Secret X is where the money's at. Its made from 100% natural ingredients, the skin of the Colorado River Toad(Bufo alvarius).

Since centuries ago, Some people have been known to lick these frogs to get high, as a certain chemical they secrete from their skin causes hallucinations. Some people have died after licking these toads. Some people argue that these people deserved to die.

Secret Y is made from a substance banned in most parts of the world, save for the coldest, most remote parts of Mother Russia(anything goes in the coldest parts of Russia). This substance is so secret, I cannot even name it. I shall call it marijuaneeeee, to hide its true identity. Now, marijuaneeeee makes people happy, and thats what the RamlY folks want its customers to be. Happy(especially after they find out the patty they're eating breaks food laws in almost every 1st, 2nd and 3rd world country(except you-know-where)).

Secret Z is the most dangerous of the 3 evils, common household mayonnaise(It makes you FAT. Research has shown that 100% of fat people have been known to die sometime in their lives).

How good a RamlY Burger tastes, largely depends on the person who prepares it. The RamlY Man(There is no real name for the RamlY Burger Man, I just call him The RamlY Man).

Although the RamlY Patty itself is enough to kill a large household pet, it takes skill to combine the Patty, Sauces, Buns, Egg and Vegetables into something so powerful, that once eaten, will elevate the person to a higher state of mind(There are people who equate this feeling to the Nirvana they have been looking for all their lives. Others equate this to the feeling of self-circumcision)

The RamlY process is not simple.

First you have to cook the Bun, Patty and Egg


Then add the various Vegetables


Then add the Secret Sauces


And it is done


This difficult process can only be completed by a trained and skillful individual(anybody who's willing to stand by the road and make burgers). Not to be tried at home. You just cant make it the way they do.

Once bitten into, the RamlY burger should look like so.

The Bun, Patty, Egg and Vegetables all separated in an orderly fashion.
This shows the RamlY burger was made by an official licenced RamlY Man.

Beware of imitations.


The RamlY Burger is to be eaten in all its greatness, in a Styrofoam box, by the roadside.